A basic proof of Orthodoxy’s
belief that Shakspere of Stratford wrote the literary canon associated with his
name is found in the dedications to Venus and Adonis and The Rape of
Lucrece, both of which are signed “William Shakespeare”, apparently
qualifying Shakspere as author of these poems, and therefore of the whole
canon. But both texts are shot through
with covert scandalous wit which Orthodoxy, I am sure, has sometimes suspected,
but has been loth to rock the boat that keeps afloat the Earl of Southampton’s
patronage of Shakspere, for the covert content of these dedications
irrefragably sinks the vessel and its steadfast crew. The dedications are covert texts, and the
“Shakespeare” signature a declaration by Rutland of his pseudonym, for both are
signed by himself. Before examining
them, it is necessary to realise that Roger Manners, 5th Earl of
Rutland (1576-1612), discovered at puberty that he was afflicted with erectile
disorder; and that it had scarcely registered when he was, almost certainly,
seduced by his friend, the (then sportif) Earl of Southampton. In the Sonnets and here in the
dedications he jokes hilariously about his erectile disfunction and his doedom,
perhaps a heterosexual’s cathartic expression of shame and bewilderment. We must also remember that he began writing
with ambition in his fourteenth year.
Scholars often maintain that the seventeen first sonnets were written to
celebrate the seventeenth birthday of the Earl of Southampton. They are correct; and since they shared the
same birthday, 6th October, Rutland would have been fourteen,
obviously having penned them when thirteen.
He was sixteen when Venus and Adonis was published. Could he have produced such accomplished
verse without prior dedication to his Muse?
It cannot be stressed too strongly that Rutland was a prodigy: indeed,
it is possible that he had already written Comedy of Errors, Two
Gentlemen of Verona, Loves Labours Lost, and parts of Henry VI
before his sixteenth birthday (and possibly even earlier). Given the lewd covert texts of the
dedications, the youth of the participants – particularly the prodigious young
writer’s – should immediately win our amnesty, for salacious comic realism
would have been piquantly agreeable to them, elicited by an analysis of the
dedication to Venus and Adonis:
TO
THE RIGHT
HONOURABLE,
HENRY
Wriothesley,
Earle of Southampton,
And
Baron of Titchfield
1
Right Honourable, I know not how I shall offend in
dedicating my
2
unpolished lines to your Lordship, nor how the worlde
will censure
3
mee for choosing so strong a proppe so support so weake
a burthen,
4
onelye if your Honor seeme but pleased, I account my
selfe highly
5
praised, and vowe to take advantage of all idle houres
till I have
6
honoured you with some graver labour. But if the first heire of my
7
invention prove deformed, I shall be sorie it had so
noble a god-father: and
8
never after eare so barren a land, for feare it yeeld
me still so bad a
9
harvest, I leave it to your Honourable survey, and your
Honor to your
10
hearts content, which I wish may alwaies answere your
owne wish,
11
and the worlds hopefull expectation.
12
Your Honors in all duetie,
13
William Shakespeare.
3
So strong a proppe: so excellent a penis as
yours. support: hold up; so weake a burthen: my unworthy
anus? onelye: perhaps cryptic,
intending a reference to Southampton’s motto, Ung par tout, tout par ung: ‘One for all (‘awl’, penis), and all for
one’.
4
but pleased:
phonetic ‘butt-pleased’ (the ‘proppe’ well satisfied). highly praised: well served by your
nonpareil rod.
5
all idle
houres: all – awl - penis: ‘and vow
to take it (Friend Henry’s rod) on libinal prompt’.
6
some graver labor: with implied ‘thus
rendering us both butt-pleased’.
7
the first heire of my invention: variously
explained: by orthodox scholars as ‘my first essay at a lyric poem’; by the heretical scholar as ‘the first use of
my pseudonym “William Shakespeare”’;
but the colon (comma only needed) – indicating ‘double-pricked’ (two
pricks of the pen) – after ‘god-father’, suggests a third cryptic meaning: ‘my
initiation to anal cock’ – the first coming-in – “invention” – into my sexual
parts (‘heire’: q.v. heir Partridge, Shakespeares Bawdy, p.
128). deformed: unacceptable to
you? eare: plough.
8
so barren a land: of ruts. it yeeld me still: for my title is
‘Rut-land’.
9
your Honourable survey: possibly flags the
subscription’s encryption. your
hearts content: ‘heart’, centre of
passion: ‘your prick’s content’.
10
alwaies:
in all – ‘awl’ – ways. wish: desire. worlds: posteriors (globes of the buttocks) with
sense, ‘my derrière’s…’.
11
Your Honors in all duetie: (anagram):
Your Hons eie: I, Lo: Rutland:
‘eie’, hole: see Partridge, ibid., p.109. Abbreviations – e.g. ‘Hons’ for ‘Honors’,
‘Lo:’ for ‘Lord’, etc. – were common between intimates in Elijean [Elizabethan
and Jacobean] times: two extant letters written by Rutland when a boy of twelve
and fourteen to his mother, the dowager Countess of Rutland, he ends with Your
Lpps most duetifull sonne, and Your Lps most duetifull sonne, Roger
Rutland.
14 William Shakespeare: that is, aka (also known as) “William
Shakespeare”.
A probable decoding is: “Right
Honourable, I know not how I shall offend in dedicating my unpolished lines to
your Lordship, nor how the worlde will censure mee for choosing so excellent a
penis as yours to hold up my unworthy anus, onelye (one for all and all for
one!) if your Honor seeme butt-pleased (proppe well satisfied), I account my
selfe well served by your nonpareil rod, which I vowe to take on libidinal
prompt, till I have honoured you with some graver labor (rendering us both
extremely butt-pleased!). But if my
initiation to anal cock prove unacceptable to you, I shall be sorie it had so noble
a sponsor: and never after plough so barren a land (of ruts), for feare it
yeeld me still (for my name is ‘Rut-land’) so bad a harvest: I leave it to your
Honourable survey below, and your Honor to your pricks content, which I wish
may, in all ways, answere to your owne desire, and my derrières hopefull expectation.
Your Hons eie: I, Lo: Rutland,
aka “William Shakespeare”.
Second, the Lucrece
dedication:
TO
THE RIGHT
HONOURABLE,
HENRY
Wriothesley,
Earle of Southampton,
and
Baron of Titchfield
1 The love I dedicate to your Lordship is without end: whereof this
2
Pamphlet without beginning is but a superfluous
Moiety. The warrant
3
I have of your Honourable disposition, not the worth of
my untutored
4
Lines makes it assured of acceptance. What I have done is yours,
5
being part in all I have, devoted yours. Were my worth greater, my
6
duety would shew greater, meane time, as it is, it is
bound to your
7
Lordship; to whom I wish long life still lengthened
with all
8
happinesse.
9
Your Lordships in all duetie,
10
William Shakespeare
1
The love: ‘O’,
anus. The love I:
‘love’ = ‘anus’, ‘I’ = ‘tumescent penis’ (Earl Henry’s nonpareil,
the Titchfield Tickler: his home Titchfield Manor). end:
penis, double-sized (colon two pricks of the pen): ‘your
double-sized beautie’. this Pamphlet
without beginning: ‘The love I’
(phrase begins the dedication): see gloss for “The love I” above.
2
but:
phonetic ‘butt’ = ‘arse’, ‘anus’.
Moiety: half, part: ‘a
useless half without ‘the love I’’. warrant: guarantee, support, basis.
3
your Honourable dispostion: probably ‘your upstanding cock’. Untutored Lines: (anagram) neutor’d utensil
(‘utensil’ = ‘tool’).
4
it: the
love I (penis). assured: metathesis (transposition of sounds, as in a
spoonerism), ‘sure-assed’. done: with ironic play on anagram ‘O end’
(without effective cock) and ‘end O’ (rear hole).
5
all I:
double play on ‘penis’, ‘awl’ and ‘I’ (rampant rod). worth:
uprightness. my duety
would shew greater: my love would
also be upright.
6
it is bound:
‘it’ = ‘my devoted ass’
7
long life still lengthened with all happinesse: an enduring stiffy (long life) still
lengthened in copulating content (play on ‘awl happinesse’).
8
Your Lordships in all duetie: (anagram) Your Ldships eie: I, Lo: Rutland (see
gloss v. 12, p. 2 above).
9
William Shakespeare: aka (also known as) “William
Shakespeare”.
A probable decoding is: ‘The anus
I dedicate to your Lordship is without your nonpareil cock: whereof without
your beautie there is butt, my receptive ass, a useless half (without Tickler). The guarantee I have of your upstanding dick,
not the worth of my neutor’d utensil, makes it sure-assed of acceptance. What I do have – butt-end – is yours,
dedicated to your rampant nonpareil.
Were my uprightness greater my love would also be upright; meane-time my
dedicated rear is bound to your Lordship; to whom I wish an enduring stiffy
still lengthened in copulating content.
Your Ldships eie: I, Lo:
Rutland,
Aka “William Shakespeare”.
When decoding such difficult
covert texts, it is not possible to be correct with every gloss. Both dedications strongly indicate a hidden
text: from V&A “so strong a
proppe… butt-pleased… ” with “all idle houres”, “the worlds hopefull
expectation”; and from RoL “The love I dedicate to your Lordship is
without end: whereof this Pamphlet without beginning is but a superfluous
Moiety” with “the worlds hopefull expectation” are redolent of cryptic clues in
the Times or Guardian crosswords; although to spot their cryptic
intent readily one would perhaps need to be au fait with the tragic
biography of Roger Manners, 5th Earl of Rutland. His sexual impotency impelled him into the
necessary therapy of laughter, even, bravely, burlesquing his erectile dysfunction,
here and in the sonnets. The dual texts
are indecent, but one should not contemn our brilliant chatelain attempting
cathartic treatment for a blighted start upon adulthood. Penned respectively at 16 and 17, they attest
superlative wit, ingenious command of language, and an intrepid intent to
confront the sufferings of a malign fortune.
And he signs them, “I, Lo: Rutland, aka “William Shakespeare””,
thus declaring himself the author of the canon mistakenly attributed to
Shakepere of Stratford.
Brian Dutton
No comments:
Post a Comment